Dear President Obama,
I listened to your speech today and I feel the need to write you a letter I know you will never read. I normally keep my political and religious views to myself, they are intensely personal and don't need to be shared with others. This year though, in this election year, I feel that people should hear my story because this year I AM the statistics, I am a victim of the current economy.
I am a 47 year old single mother of two college students. I raised my daughters alone without any child support or government assistance. I worked hard and have an amazing family who helped in any way they could. It wasn't always easy but sometimes it wasn't so hard. I worked two jobs most of the time so we could have the things we needed and the things we wanted. I was a waitress working until 4 am most nights and I had a full-time day job that provided us with health insurance. I was tired and didn't get a lot of time with my daughters but you do what you have to do to survive. I don't have a college degree but what I do have is 31 years of real life work experience, and it has served me well over the years. I am proud of where I come from and what I have accomplished.
Twenty months ago I was laid off from my full-time job, my career, due to corporate restructuring. Last month I was laid off after four months from a job I was hopeful would give me a new start at my future. Today as I sit here at my computer writing you this letter I am scared, I don't know what happens next. I am lucky because as an experienced server there are always jobs to put food on the table but as a head of household, that is not enough. I have low income/low cost health insurance provided by the state of California for my youngest daughter that will end when she turns 19 but my oldest child and I are uninsured. I have no life insurance and no retirement.
I am a democrat that feels strongly about my rights over my body, education, healthcare, the military, immigration and equality for all peoples, but for me this year my decision comes down to one simple question. Who do I think cares more about me, my life and my struggles? Who understands what I am going through and wants to build an America I will thrive in? For me Mr. President that person is you. The Republicans ask If I am better off, the answer is no but I believe in your plan for my future.
Your loyal supporter,
Dani Ramos
Friday, September 7, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Sunrise
With every sunrise there is a new day and a new opportunity to succeed.
Yesterday does not define today and I need to remember that today will only be what I make of it.
That being said...it's time for me to forget yesterday and go out and make today amazing!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Lost and Found
Soooooo, I haven't blogged in 7 months, BAD DANI! I just read that blog from January 31, 2012 and a lot has happened in those months. I ran the half-marathon, a huge accomplishment and something I am immensely proud of. I got a job and four months later got laid-off again, and I gained weight which is why I feel the need to get back to putting my thoughts and feelings to cyber paper again. If you don't blog or journal it really is something you should try, it is like therapy you don't have to pay for. For me the support of friends and loved ones is a huge motivator and getting it all out in words and letting it go into the universe gives me a sense of release, it actually lifts weight off my mind, heart and shoulders. I feel lighter after a good blog. Too bad it doesn't do anything for physical weight, I could just sit at a computer and not have to exercise or eat right, if only...
The last four months have been busy. I was working two jobs again which took some getting used to, but it felt good. I knew the new job was going to end at some point, hopefully temporarily, but I really didn't know how or when it would end. The rumors started early August that for me the time was rapidly approaching. I told myself that I would leave it all to God and to try and have faith that there was a plan; that it would all work out. What I tell myself and how I handle the stress are two completely different beasts. I started to eat, not for nourishment but to medicate. Fourth and fifth meals at the Jack-in-the-Box drive thru (my drug of choice) were a daily occurrence. The disappointment I felt in myself added to the increasing stress of the unknown became like a huge snowball rolling down a large mountain, unstoppable.
I almost stopped working out all together except for my Saturday morning boot camps. After the Rock-n-Roll I decided to take time off from running and the grind of life with two jobs just made it easy to have reasons I couldn't get to the gym. I missed it but I was so busy I didn't really notice that I had given up something that I really enjoyed doing.
Today I am ten pounds more than my lowest weight. I don't really know what those numbers are, they round up or down depending on the day but I can feel the difference. Clothes are tighter than I'm comfortable with, my feet hurt and the person looking at me in the mirror isn't as happy with herself as she was all those months ago. What do I want? I want that feeling of accomplishment again, the feeling that I am changing my life, the feeling I get when I look at a picture of myself that I actually like. How do I get that? I control what I can control, for now that means to breath through the anxiety and take it one day at a time.
I was a little bit lost but now I'm a whole lot found...
The last four months have been busy. I was working two jobs again which took some getting used to, but it felt good. I knew the new job was going to end at some point, hopefully temporarily, but I really didn't know how or when it would end. The rumors started early August that for me the time was rapidly approaching. I told myself that I would leave it all to God and to try and have faith that there was a plan; that it would all work out. What I tell myself and how I handle the stress are two completely different beasts. I started to eat, not for nourishment but to medicate. Fourth and fifth meals at the Jack-in-the-Box drive thru (my drug of choice) were a daily occurrence. The disappointment I felt in myself added to the increasing stress of the unknown became like a huge snowball rolling down a large mountain, unstoppable.
I almost stopped working out all together except for my Saturday morning boot camps. After the Rock-n-Roll I decided to take time off from running and the grind of life with two jobs just made it easy to have reasons I couldn't get to the gym. I missed it but I was so busy I didn't really notice that I had given up something that I really enjoyed doing.
Today I am ten pounds more than my lowest weight. I don't really know what those numbers are, they round up or down depending on the day but I can feel the difference. Clothes are tighter than I'm comfortable with, my feet hurt and the person looking at me in the mirror isn't as happy with herself as she was all those months ago. What do I want? I want that feeling of accomplishment again, the feeling that I am changing my life, the feeling I get when I look at a picture of myself that I actually like. How do I get that? I control what I can control, for now that means to breath through the anxiety and take it one day at a time.
I was a little bit lost but now I'm a whole lot found...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
January 2012
What the hell is wrong with me? I've been asking myself that question for a couple of months now. I haven't really figured out the answer yet but I've decided if I don't take action now things will really get out of control. I've been eating...what I want, when I want and no matter what I say to myself to try and control it, nothing works. I let myself think that it was the holidays, but that ship has sailed and now I really have no excuses, not that any rationale would be acceptable.
I ran 4.5 miles on Saturday which is a big deal for me and the whole time I kept thinking about how crazy it is for me to train for a marathon if I was going to let my eating be so out of control. Running hurts, I don't even know if, for me running will ever stop hurting. It's not an injured type of hurt but while running it is pretty much constant and after running I ice and take pills just so I can walk like a normal person and to get my knees ready for the next time I have to run. I am committed to this process and I am determined to run 13.1 miles on the first Sunday in June but the reason I started was to find a new way to lose weight, if that doesn't happen I am wasting precious time not to mention all the pain endured without reaching a goal. I am way smarter than that.
Everyday of this new year I wake up with the intention to eat right, to eat like I know I should, to make good choices. Sometimes I have an entire good day, sometimes I am eating Jack-in-the-Box by noon. I have always said that most of us have a fat girl inside, she is the one who talks you into rewarding yourself with food. She is the one thinking about your next meal even before you have finished the meal you are eating. She says things like "You already had one cookie, you might as well finish off the whole box!" During the time I lost 50 pounds I was in control but the last few months she has been winning a lot of the battles over control of what we eat. I think I'm ready to remind her of how much I dislike losing. I'm the one with the keys to the car and the debit card...I'm the one with ALL the control, time to take it back!
Today I had to admit to my trainer that I have gained four pounds, in reality I have yo-yo'd six pounds for the last two months. It is not horrible given the amount and types of food I have been eating and makes me realize that I must be doing something right as far as running and exercise and if I can just get this one thing under control then I can really drop some pounds. Today I got to wear 40 pounds of body weights during my training session , a weighted vest, ankle and wrist weights. It was to remind me where I came from, felt a lot like punishment but it really brought me back to how hard training was at the beginning. Running would be impossible with 40 more pounds on my feet and knees but now I'm reminded of how much easier running will be when I lose 40 more pounds!
What the hell is wrong with me?! Answer: Nothing. I've gotten a little of track, I just need to keep reminding myself of all the reasons I am doing this and keep myself surrounded by people who will help me keep my wheels on the track.
I ran 4.5 miles on Saturday which is a big deal for me and the whole time I kept thinking about how crazy it is for me to train for a marathon if I was going to let my eating be so out of control. Running hurts, I don't even know if, for me running will ever stop hurting. It's not an injured type of hurt but while running it is pretty much constant and after running I ice and take pills just so I can walk like a normal person and to get my knees ready for the next time I have to run. I am committed to this process and I am determined to run 13.1 miles on the first Sunday in June but the reason I started was to find a new way to lose weight, if that doesn't happen I am wasting precious time not to mention all the pain endured without reaching a goal. I am way smarter than that.
Everyday of this new year I wake up with the intention to eat right, to eat like I know I should, to make good choices. Sometimes I have an entire good day, sometimes I am eating Jack-in-the-Box by noon. I have always said that most of us have a fat girl inside, she is the one who talks you into rewarding yourself with food. She is the one thinking about your next meal even before you have finished the meal you are eating. She says things like "You already had one cookie, you might as well finish off the whole box!" During the time I lost 50 pounds I was in control but the last few months she has been winning a lot of the battles over control of what we eat. I think I'm ready to remind her of how much I dislike losing. I'm the one with the keys to the car and the debit card...I'm the one with ALL the control, time to take it back!
Today I had to admit to my trainer that I have gained four pounds, in reality I have yo-yo'd six pounds for the last two months. It is not horrible given the amount and types of food I have been eating and makes me realize that I must be doing something right as far as running and exercise and if I can just get this one thing under control then I can really drop some pounds. Today I got to wear 40 pounds of body weights during my training session , a weighted vest, ankle and wrist weights. It was to remind me where I came from, felt a lot like punishment but it really brought me back to how hard training was at the beginning. Running would be impossible with 40 more pounds on my feet and knees but now I'm reminded of how much easier running will be when I lose 40 more pounds!
What the hell is wrong with me?! Answer: Nothing. I've gotten a little of track, I just need to keep reminding myself of all the reasons I am doing this and keep myself surrounded by people who will help me keep my wheels on the track.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Rainin n Runnin
I used to mock people I would see running at ungodly hours of the morning or running in the rain. "What are they trying to prove?!" and "Who are the trying to impress?" Today I was that girl running in the rain at ungodly hours of the morning (I know 7 a.m. isn't all that ungodly but I'm taking some dramatic liberties here). Now I get it, they weren't trying to impress anyone or prove anything, they were running for themselves...because they wanted to!! Who knew?!
Just finished week two of my half marathon training, so far not so horrible =)
Running hurts. I think I was naive thinking that since my knees hadn't bothered me in months they would just cruise through a six month program designed to get me to a 13 mile run. Week two that rose colored fantasy hit a bump in the road, they aren't injured but they are sore, so sore my trainer told me not to do the weekday runs. I was discouraged at first but was reminded by people in the know that this is a long training program and it's all a marathon, not a race. So, ice and ibuprofen have become my new best friends and I'll continue to take it easy until my knees realize that I am not going to surrender to a little pain!
Just finished week two of my half marathon training, so far not so horrible =)
Running hurts. I think I was naive thinking that since my knees hadn't bothered me in months they would just cruise through a six month program designed to get me to a 13 mile run. Week two that rose colored fantasy hit a bump in the road, they aren't injured but they are sore, so sore my trainer told me not to do the weekday runs. I was discouraged at first but was reminded by people in the know that this is a long training program and it's all a marathon, not a race. So, ice and ibuprofen have become my new best friends and I'll continue to take it easy until my knees realize that I am not going to surrender to a little pain!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Happy 2012
After being called out about my blogging or I guess I should say lack of blogging, it is time for me to get back into the rhythm of the lifestyle I want to live... It is a happy 2012 so far, busier than ever, new and exciting things happening for me and my family. Last year ended a little shaky so I am grateful to be able to look forward and be optimistic about what this year will bring.
That being said, I am a little disappointed with myself, I haven't lost a pound in months and I actually packed on a pound or two over the holidays. This blog is to give myself some accountability moving forward to get back to the business of losing weight. My overall goal is a healthier lifestyle but a large part of that is my weight (no pun intended). So far this year I am more active than I was during the 50 pound weight loss of 2011, this is week one of half-marathon training, I am still taking two boot camp classes a week and this morning I got a royal ass kicking by my trainer, a 70 pound punching bag and the San Diego Convention Center stairs...given all that there is NO reason I should not be shedding pounds like my furry beast of a dog sheds hair!
So, my blogs from here on out should be grand tales of running like the wind and amazing weekly weight loss with photos of me in size 6 skinny jeans...or they will be the truth =) either way, there will be blogs and they will include me making progress towards my ultimate goal of a healthier lifestyle for me and my family. Thank you all for your support, if you don't see blogs feel free to call me out.
That being said, I am a little disappointed with myself, I haven't lost a pound in months and I actually packed on a pound or two over the holidays. This blog is to give myself some accountability moving forward to get back to the business of losing weight. My overall goal is a healthier lifestyle but a large part of that is my weight (no pun intended). So far this year I am more active than I was during the 50 pound weight loss of 2011, this is week one of half-marathon training, I am still taking two boot camp classes a week and this morning I got a royal ass kicking by my trainer, a 70 pound punching bag and the San Diego Convention Center stairs...given all that there is NO reason I should not be shedding pounds like my furry beast of a dog sheds hair!
So, my blogs from here on out should be grand tales of running like the wind and amazing weekly weight loss with photos of me in size 6 skinny jeans...or they will be the truth =) either way, there will be blogs and they will include me making progress towards my ultimate goal of a healthier lifestyle for me and my family. Thank you all for your support, if you don't see blogs feel free to call me out.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Back to Business
I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged. Three months is an eternity in the weight loss game. I think of all the weight I could have lost in the last three months and while I am disappointed, I am not going to beat myself up about it. There are definitely positives to take away from my time off-the-wagon; most importantly I haven't gained any weight back. Every other time I have lost any significant amount of weight I have managed to put it all back on in the weeks and months after going off of whatever diet of the month I had been on. The last couple of months I have eaten (end of sentence). There have been times of stress when I turned to the drive thru and times of down right bad decisions like MXN at 4 a.m. (last night) but it hasn't turned into a train wreck that I am just a passenger on.
I also wanted to say this next point is "most important" but now that I've thought about it I guess this next point is actually what I'm most proud of. Even though I haven't been as focused on eating what I need to to drop weight I haven't fallen away from my work outs. They have changed, less time with a personal trainer, more classes at the gym and I've added running to the mix but I never let myself go more than a day or two without moving and sweating. What that proves to me is that I have made permanent lifestyle changes that I know will stay with me forever. I've changed from a Big Girl to a Workout Girl...hugely proud of that!
So, it's time to get back to the business of losing weight. The first 50 pounds were by no definition easy and I am sure that the last 50 will be no run through the park but with all that I've learned and the tools I have added to daily routine combined with all the amazing people who support me unconditionally it should be easy peasy.
I also wanted to say this next point is "most important" but now that I've thought about it I guess this next point is actually what I'm most proud of. Even though I haven't been as focused on eating what I need to to drop weight I haven't fallen away from my work outs. They have changed, less time with a personal trainer, more classes at the gym and I've added running to the mix but I never let myself go more than a day or two without moving and sweating. What that proves to me is that I have made permanent lifestyle changes that I know will stay with me forever. I've changed from a Big Girl to a Workout Girl...hugely proud of that!
So, it's time to get back to the business of losing weight. The first 50 pounds were by no definition easy and I am sure that the last 50 will be no run through the park but with all that I've learned and the tools I have added to daily routine combined with all the amazing people who support me unconditionally it should be easy peasy.
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