I used to mock people I would see running at ungodly hours of the morning or running in the rain. "What are they trying to prove?!" and "Who are the trying to impress?" Today I was that girl running in the rain at ungodly hours of the morning (I know 7 a.m. isn't all that ungodly but I'm taking some dramatic liberties here). Now I get it, they weren't trying to impress anyone or prove anything, they were running for themselves...because they wanted to!! Who knew?!
Just finished week two of my half marathon training, so far not so horrible =)
Running hurts. I think I was naive thinking that since my knees hadn't bothered me in months they would just cruise through a six month program designed to get me to a 13 mile run. Week two that rose colored fantasy hit a bump in the road, they aren't injured but they are sore, so sore my trainer told me not to do the weekday runs. I was discouraged at first but was reminded by people in the know that this is a long training program and it's all a marathon, not a race. So, ice and ibuprofen have become my new best friends and I'll continue to take it easy until my knees realize that I am not going to surrender to a little pain!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Happy 2012
After being called out about my blogging or I guess I should say lack of blogging, it is time for me to get back into the rhythm of the lifestyle I want to live... It is a happy 2012 so far, busier than ever, new and exciting things happening for me and my family. Last year ended a little shaky so I am grateful to be able to look forward and be optimistic about what this year will bring.
That being said, I am a little disappointed with myself, I haven't lost a pound in months and I actually packed on a pound or two over the holidays. This blog is to give myself some accountability moving forward to get back to the business of losing weight. My overall goal is a healthier lifestyle but a large part of that is my weight (no pun intended). So far this year I am more active than I was during the 50 pound weight loss of 2011, this is week one of half-marathon training, I am still taking two boot camp classes a week and this morning I got a royal ass kicking by my trainer, a 70 pound punching bag and the San Diego Convention Center stairs...given all that there is NO reason I should not be shedding pounds like my furry beast of a dog sheds hair!
So, my blogs from here on out should be grand tales of running like the wind and amazing weekly weight loss with photos of me in size 6 skinny jeans...or they will be the truth =) either way, there will be blogs and they will include me making progress towards my ultimate goal of a healthier lifestyle for me and my family. Thank you all for your support, if you don't see blogs feel free to call me out.
That being said, I am a little disappointed with myself, I haven't lost a pound in months and I actually packed on a pound or two over the holidays. This blog is to give myself some accountability moving forward to get back to the business of losing weight. My overall goal is a healthier lifestyle but a large part of that is my weight (no pun intended). So far this year I am more active than I was during the 50 pound weight loss of 2011, this is week one of half-marathon training, I am still taking two boot camp classes a week and this morning I got a royal ass kicking by my trainer, a 70 pound punching bag and the San Diego Convention Center stairs...given all that there is NO reason I should not be shedding pounds like my furry beast of a dog sheds hair!
So, my blogs from here on out should be grand tales of running like the wind and amazing weekly weight loss with photos of me in size 6 skinny jeans...or they will be the truth =) either way, there will be blogs and they will include me making progress towards my ultimate goal of a healthier lifestyle for me and my family. Thank you all for your support, if you don't see blogs feel free to call me out.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Back to Business
I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged. Three months is an eternity in the weight loss game. I think of all the weight I could have lost in the last three months and while I am disappointed, I am not going to beat myself up about it. There are definitely positives to take away from my time off-the-wagon; most importantly I haven't gained any weight back. Every other time I have lost any significant amount of weight I have managed to put it all back on in the weeks and months after going off of whatever diet of the month I had been on. The last couple of months I have eaten (end of sentence). There have been times of stress when I turned to the drive thru and times of down right bad decisions like MXN at 4 a.m. (last night) but it hasn't turned into a train wreck that I am just a passenger on.
I also wanted to say this next point is "most important" but now that I've thought about it I guess this next point is actually what I'm most proud of. Even though I haven't been as focused on eating what I need to to drop weight I haven't fallen away from my work outs. They have changed, less time with a personal trainer, more classes at the gym and I've added running to the mix but I never let myself go more than a day or two without moving and sweating. What that proves to me is that I have made permanent lifestyle changes that I know will stay with me forever. I've changed from a Big Girl to a Workout Girl...hugely proud of that!
So, it's time to get back to the business of losing weight. The first 50 pounds were by no definition easy and I am sure that the last 50 will be no run through the park but with all that I've learned and the tools I have added to daily routine combined with all the amazing people who support me unconditionally it should be easy peasy.
I also wanted to say this next point is "most important" but now that I've thought about it I guess this next point is actually what I'm most proud of. Even though I haven't been as focused on eating what I need to to drop weight I haven't fallen away from my work outs. They have changed, less time with a personal trainer, more classes at the gym and I've added running to the mix but I never let myself go more than a day or two without moving and sweating. What that proves to me is that I have made permanent lifestyle changes that I know will stay with me forever. I've changed from a Big Girl to a Workout Girl...hugely proud of that!
So, it's time to get back to the business of losing weight. The first 50 pounds were by no definition easy and I am sure that the last 50 will be no run through the park but with all that I've learned and the tools I have added to daily routine combined with all the amazing people who support me unconditionally it should be easy peasy.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Back to Basics
Why do I need to be told to get back to basics? I know that if I eat 1200 good calories a day, take more than 10K steps a day and drink 100oz of water a day the scale will move. I have done it before and know that it takes work and planning but it's totally do-able. Now after two weeks of not eating enough, not wearing my pedometer and not paying attention to my water intake I am frustrated because the scale is stuck...again!
"You need to get back to basics" he said to me this morning. No more shakes, eat real food. Take 14K steps a day, plan your week out in advance and journal. Knew it, knew it, knew it, knew it! I guess that's why I still need him to hold me accountable. I've made life changes but it is so easy when life gets difficult to fall away from the good habits and slide back into taking the easy way through it all. I don't totally fall off the wagon but I use life as an excuse not stick to the hardest parts of the program. Going to boot camp is easy, it's sucking down three quarts of water a day that feels like work.
So, back to the basics I go thankful that I have someone that understands my life's challenges and knows exactly what to say to get my head back in the game. I need to be grateful everyday for the opportunities I have and for the support I still depend on.
"You need to get back to basics" he said to me this morning. No more shakes, eat real food. Take 14K steps a day, plan your week out in advance and journal. Knew it, knew it, knew it, knew it! I guess that's why I still need him to hold me accountable. I've made life changes but it is so easy when life gets difficult to fall away from the good habits and slide back into taking the easy way through it all. I don't totally fall off the wagon but I use life as an excuse not stick to the hardest parts of the program. Going to boot camp is easy, it's sucking down three quarts of water a day that feels like work.
So, back to the basics I go thankful that I have someone that understands my life's challenges and knows exactly what to say to get my head back in the game. I need to be grateful everyday for the opportunities I have and for the support I still depend on.
Monday, August 15, 2011
FailBlog
I was discouraged with my progress about a month ago so my trainer had me set 4 week month goals with a reward/consequences for success or failure.
The goals:
*Lose 15 pounds
*Complete a 5-7 day cleanse
*Log food daily
*Walk at least 10k steps per day, 6 days per week
The reward:
My Chargers bolt tattoo
The consequence:
*No tattoo
*500 words on why I failed
The title of this blog pretty much explains how I did. I hate to use the word "fail" because I
completed all the goals except for the big one, the weight. I'm beginning to think that my scale hates me. I have lost over 35 pounds and I feel better than I have in more than 15 years. I can feel the progress I am making in the gym, getting stronger, doing more on my knees and really enjoying the process (even climbing convention center stairs). I am down three pant sizes and everywhere I go I get positive feedback from friends and family about the changes they can see. So, even though I am disappointed that I didn't succeed in all my goals I am not going to consider it a failure.
The why's:
First off, I set the weight goal too high. I planned on the cleanse losing me 8-10 pounds which was unrealistic. Throughout my whole weight loss journey I have been committed to doing it "the right way". To me that means eating right, exercising and making positive life changes. When I chose a cleanse I wanted something that allowed me to eat solid food but to still get the benefits of some of the more drastic types of fasting cleanses. I chose The Elimination Diet from a book called Clean, and really the diet worked. I could feel the effects of eating only fruits, vegetables and organic lean proteins...10 days of no processed foods, but huge weight loss was not one of the benefits.
Second, life got complicated. My life is always complicated, but the last two weeks it has been kicked up a notch. I try to plan my meals, exercise and steps around whatever I have going on in a given day but it's hard when I am also responsible for for what is going on in other people's lives too. Six days ago my mother had bypass surgery and over the weekend it was my daughter's birthday so between trying to spend as much time at the hospital as I could and trying to not let the hospital affect the birthday celebrations, my goals took a backseat, actually my goals ended up in the trunk.
Lastly, stress affects weight loss--that's what my trainer said when I realized I wasn't going to make the weight loss goal. I have to believe that it does because for 20 days I ate well, took between 10-15 thousand steps a day, did 40+ minutes cardio everyday, met with my trainer twice a week, took two boot camp classes a week, gave up soda and drank my 8-12 glassed of water a day, if it wasn't stress then I am correct and my scale is an evil bitch and she just plain hates me!
Given the fact that I feel amazing and my clothes are falling off I'm going to try my best not to focus on the "failure" and just remember that I can only do what I can do. I have 26 days to get my tattoo, I'll set a new goal and keep moving forward.
The goals:
*Lose 15 pounds
*Complete a 5-7 day cleanse
*Log food daily
*Walk at least 10k steps per day, 6 days per week
The reward:
My Chargers bolt tattoo
The consequence:
*No tattoo
*500 words on why I failed
The title of this blog pretty much explains how I did. I hate to use the word "fail" because I
completed all the goals except for the big one, the weight. I'm beginning to think that my scale hates me. I have lost over 35 pounds and I feel better than I have in more than 15 years. I can feel the progress I am making in the gym, getting stronger, doing more on my knees and really enjoying the process (even climbing convention center stairs). I am down three pant sizes and everywhere I go I get positive feedback from friends and family about the changes they can see. So, even though I am disappointed that I didn't succeed in all my goals I am not going to consider it a failure.
The why's:
First off, I set the weight goal too high. I planned on the cleanse losing me 8-10 pounds which was unrealistic. Throughout my whole weight loss journey I have been committed to doing it "the right way". To me that means eating right, exercising and making positive life changes. When I chose a cleanse I wanted something that allowed me to eat solid food but to still get the benefits of some of the more drastic types of fasting cleanses. I chose The Elimination Diet from a book called Clean, and really the diet worked. I could feel the effects of eating only fruits, vegetables and organic lean proteins...10 days of no processed foods, but huge weight loss was not one of the benefits.
Second, life got complicated. My life is always complicated, but the last two weeks it has been kicked up a notch. I try to plan my meals, exercise and steps around whatever I have going on in a given day but it's hard when I am also responsible for for what is going on in other people's lives too. Six days ago my mother had bypass surgery and over the weekend it was my daughter's birthday so between trying to spend as much time at the hospital as I could and trying to not let the hospital affect the birthday celebrations, my goals took a backseat, actually my goals ended up in the trunk.
Lastly, stress affects weight loss--that's what my trainer said when I realized I wasn't going to make the weight loss goal. I have to believe that it does because for 20 days I ate well, took between 10-15 thousand steps a day, did 40+ minutes cardio everyday, met with my trainer twice a week, took two boot camp classes a week, gave up soda and drank my 8-12 glassed of water a day, if it wasn't stress then I am correct and my scale is an evil bitch and she just plain hates me!
Given the fact that I feel amazing and my clothes are falling off I'm going to try my best not to focus on the "failure" and just remember that I can only do what I can do. I have 26 days to get my tattoo, I'll set a new goal and keep moving forward.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Less of Me
Today at boot camp class I noticed how much smaller the girl looking back at me in the mirror has gotten. I don't really think I let myself look at her very often but today I'm glad that I did.
The last month has been a rough one for me as far as weight loss goes. My goal at the end of January when I started this journey was to lose 100 pounds in a year. At my next weigh in I should pass 30 pounds *fingers crossed* which is far less than than where I think I should be six months later. I should have been reminding myself of the weeks I couldn't do anything on my knees (heads out of the gutter people) and the weeks I couldn't go to the gym or in the pool because of surgery. I know it's not all about the numbers...but sometimes it's hard not to get fixated on what the scale is doing, or not doing in my case. Today looking at myself in the mirror I can appreciate how far I've come since January 24th.
This isn't just a diet I am on, I have made life changes in my eating, my fitness level and my overall attitude about myself and life. I am not on this journey alone, I have to thank God for putting me in a position to work on myself, Jessie who encouraged me to start the weight loss challenge and for introducing me to my trainer...in him I have found someone that I trust not to break me, someone who understands my limitations and has given me the tools and encouragement to get to the point where I can look at myself in the gym mirrors and smile at what I am becoming.
The last month has been a rough one for me as far as weight loss goes. My goal at the end of January when I started this journey was to lose 100 pounds in a year. At my next weigh in I should pass 30 pounds *fingers crossed* which is far less than than where I think I should be six months later. I should have been reminding myself of the weeks I couldn't do anything on my knees (heads out of the gutter people) and the weeks I couldn't go to the gym or in the pool because of surgery. I know it's not all about the numbers...but sometimes it's hard not to get fixated on what the scale is doing, or not doing in my case. Today looking at myself in the mirror I can appreciate how far I've come since January 24th.
This isn't just a diet I am on, I have made life changes in my eating, my fitness level and my overall attitude about myself and life. I am not on this journey alone, I have to thank God for putting me in a position to work on myself, Jessie who encouraged me to start the weight loss challenge and for introducing me to my trainer...in him I have found someone that I trust not to break me, someone who understands my limitations and has given me the tools and encouragement to get to the point where I can look at myself in the gym mirrors and smile at what I am becoming.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Just Breath
Just Breath...I've been hearing that a lot lately from people that don't understand anxiety disorders. I must admit that I do say it to myself, but it's more of a mantra than a flip statement of the obvious from someone that thinks I'm a little bit crazy.
I don't really remember when I started getting panic attacks but I know now that I can manage them and that eventually they will pass. It's not a constant problem that I deal with on a daily basis, more like it comes is "spells" where I will have trouble for a week or two and then as quickly as they came they will be gone...and just like I don't know what happened to trigger them, I don't really know what I did to make them stop.
This time there is definitely stress in my life, but is it more than I had two weeks ago? I don't think so. Is it that the stress of the last six months/year have built up to a level that I can no longer process? I had been really focusing on the positives in my life through all the set backs...turned 'i got laid off' into 'time to work on me' and 'Jordan totaled the car' into a better and cheaper car. This last week it has been harder for me to find positives and when I do there is a part of me that is still holding onto the negative. I blogged once about making lemonade, I think maybe I've run out of sugar. Where is the mental-sugar store?
Today I'm turning the corner...a long talk with someone I trust and that always helps me focus on the things I can control, blogging about how I've been feeling and getting out in the fresh air and sunshine...already I feel like I can breath again. Maybe the sugar store is always in there I just need to remember how to access it.
I don't really remember when I started getting panic attacks but I know now that I can manage them and that eventually they will pass. It's not a constant problem that I deal with on a daily basis, more like it comes is "spells" where I will have trouble for a week or two and then as quickly as they came they will be gone...and just like I don't know what happened to trigger them, I don't really know what I did to make them stop.
This time there is definitely stress in my life, but is it more than I had two weeks ago? I don't think so. Is it that the stress of the last six months/year have built up to a level that I can no longer process? I had been really focusing on the positives in my life through all the set backs...turned 'i got laid off' into 'time to work on me' and 'Jordan totaled the car' into a better and cheaper car. This last week it has been harder for me to find positives and when I do there is a part of me that is still holding onto the negative. I blogged once about making lemonade, I think maybe I've run out of sugar. Where is the mental-sugar store?
Today I'm turning the corner...a long talk with someone I trust and that always helps me focus on the things I can control, blogging about how I've been feeling and getting out in the fresh air and sunshine...already I feel like I can breath again. Maybe the sugar store is always in there I just need to remember how to access it.
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