Just Breath

Just Breath...I've been hearing that a lot lately from people that don't understand anxiety disorders. I must admit that I do say it to myself, but it's more of a mantra than a flip statement of the obvious from someone that thinks I'm a little bit crazy.

I don't really remember when I started getting panic attacks but I know now that I can manage them and that eventually they will pass. It's not a constant problem that I deal with on a daily basis, more like it comes is "spells" where I will have trouble for a week or two and then as quickly as they came they will be gone...and just like I don't know what happened to trigger them, I don't really know what I did to make them stop.

This time there is definitely stress in my life, but is it more than I had two weeks ago? I don't think so. Is it that the stress of the last six months/year have built up to a level that I can no longer process? I had been really focusing on the positives in my life through all the set backs...turned 'i got laid off' into 'time to work on me' and 'Jordan totaled the car' into a better and cheaper car. This last week it has been harder for me to find positives and when I do there is a part of me that is still holding onto the negative. I blogged once about making lemonade, I think maybe I've run out of sugar. Where is the mental-sugar store?

Today I'm turning the corner...a long talk with someone I trust and that always helps me focus on the things I can control, blogging about how I've been feeling and getting out in the fresh air and sunshine...already I feel like I can breath again. Maybe the sugar store is always in there I just need to remember how to access it.